Deleted mine in May 2022 - my friends literally tried to stage an intervention for me that I wouldn’t be able to meet anyone or keep up with the world - you would have thought I said I was going out to sea on an iceberg.
Resonated with everything you said - especially about the “getting the snap” mental state on holiday. Hard agree it makes your friendships stronger, half the time the stuff you see on social is like my friends brand publicist put their stuff together so it’s not even reflective of how they’re doing at all.
Although I STILL have to tell people when they ask me “did you see my post?” “No but I’m sitting here with you right now so you can show me and see my actual facial reaction.”
This is EVERYTHING!! I distinctly remember the day I deleted instagram. It was 2019 and I was crying about something I'd seen on there, and I remember thinking how ridiculous it was that one app could ruin my whole day. Socials make us far too acutely aware of what everyone else is doing, and I will forever believe that knowing so much about one another is wrong. Thank you for writing this Katie -- essential reading!!!
The biggest life hack I can give anyone is to delete social media (apart from Substack) from your phone. It’s a complete day and life ruiner to be attached to the meaningless updates and decisions of people you wouldn’t otherwise think about!
I respect anyone who is able to delete their Instagram and still maintain a social life! I'm already bad at keeping up with friends so I am very reliant on social media to stay in touch with them. And I also genuinely enjoy taking pictures so I'm definitely that person who will post about the pancakes I ate at 9 am. It can be triggering to have people unfollow you, but I've seen a shift in the past few years where people may be unfollowing because 1) they don't know you well or care to keep in touch and 2) they want to protect their mental health by filtering content on their feeds.
Genuine question, do you think people need to see your 9:00 pancakes though? I think that’s the point. We’re putting our lives out there in a way that isn’t healthy. You know who should see your 9:00 pancakes? You and whomever you’re with IRL.
I agree! I think deleting social media does make your friendships stronger!! It's something that I've suspected recently, cause it makes us feel like we're all still in touch but in reality it's been 6 months since we've seen each other and we don't know anything that's really going on in each other's lives. I think it's definitely time to cut the cord...
This was such a wake up call. The fact alone that I completely agree with you and yet I am already trying to come up with excuses as to why I should keep my instagram only goes to show how much of a grip that app has on me. I use it so much that I am sure if I deleted it now, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. That's scary...
When Facebook started the "remember when" moments... and it said something like "here's a pic from 15 years ago!" I was like w. t. f. And immediately deleted my account. Other than living, and being with my husband, the only thing that I've been committed to for fifteen years was social media?! Gone.
I only have a ghost account on there now to run a business page. You can live without it. And life is a little more colorful on this side, like when Dorothy goes from black and white Kansas dreams to colorful Oz.
Cheers!!!! I deactivated it 6 months ago. The clarity of mind I have on a daily basis. I actually do the things I want to do without the endless doom scrolling. While you’re at it, delete TikTok, Facebook, the next door app… and emails (I wish)
Ok so totally not the 'correct' take away, but LOL mingers... don't see that word a lot in essays nowadays and it's a travesty, thank you for the gift!
I have deleted Twitter, Facebook and my next for the chop is Instagram. It has turned into a curated, rolling advertising board full of scam artists and snake oil salesmen. My actual friends (my real honest-to-goodness buddies) have my number and they - as you say - can just text me.
I just have to do it. But your piece is funny and is giving me the push to make the leap.
The ads I am being served up as a 40 year old woman are dystopian. They make the messaging on TV/ the media/ old school women’s mags seem subtle and classy. A short scroll through the gram: you’re old, you’re fat, fix your face/ chin/ wrinkles/ eyelashes/ teeth/ lips/ eyebrows/ hair/ clothes/ skincare routine/ diet. You’re probably barren, freeze your eggs.
This is an account I made after quitting for years. I never post to it and use it only to follow events and local businesses in my new city— none of the social networky humblebrag parasocial weirdness. Thought it would be safer and saner. It’s not!
A much younger ex-boyfriend said all of his ads were for guitars and mountain bikes.
I’m curious about deleting instagram but as a graphic designer it’s hard to not worry about potential missed opportunities/connections. if I just used my account for personal stuff I’d delete it in a heartbeat 🧐🧐🧐
Ugh I have this problem too! I literally design social campaigns for 90% of my work so I need to keep up with what’s going on with social at least a bit…. But I want out 😂
Oh I get that!! It's a crap show these days... but, with aggressive posting re: your talents/skills/connections around such, I do think it can "help" with career stuff... but no, I rarely get on there too. Honestly social media all around feels like a lose-lose these days!
I deleted my IG four months ago and it was the best thing I did for my mental health too. My brain is also sharper and less foggy since I'm not seeing/watching 50 posts in two minutes.
Honestly, I never understood why people were so hell-bent on shaping their lives around what they’re going to post on social media. It just does not resonate with me and it never did.
I find I’m being forgotten more by friends because I dared to leave what’s pal groups although I’m seeing that as the sign that actually most of them weren’t really friends at all
Deleted mine in May 2022 - my friends literally tried to stage an intervention for me that I wouldn’t be able to meet anyone or keep up with the world - you would have thought I said I was going out to sea on an iceberg.
Resonated with everything you said - especially about the “getting the snap” mental state on holiday. Hard agree it makes your friendships stronger, half the time the stuff you see on social is like my friends brand publicist put their stuff together so it’s not even reflective of how they’re doing at all.
Although I STILL have to tell people when they ask me “did you see my post?” “No but I’m sitting here with you right now so you can show me and see my actual facial reaction.”
This is EVERYTHING!! I distinctly remember the day I deleted instagram. It was 2019 and I was crying about something I'd seen on there, and I remember thinking how ridiculous it was that one app could ruin my whole day. Socials make us far too acutely aware of what everyone else is doing, and I will forever believe that knowing so much about one another is wrong. Thank you for writing this Katie -- essential reading!!!
That was my exact experience and why I deleted mine too! It’s willllddd that one image can derail us like that 🥴
The biggest life hack I can give anyone is to delete social media (apart from Substack) from your phone. It’s a complete day and life ruiner to be attached to the meaningless updates and decisions of people you wouldn’t otherwise think about!
I respect anyone who is able to delete their Instagram and still maintain a social life! I'm already bad at keeping up with friends so I am very reliant on social media to stay in touch with them. And I also genuinely enjoy taking pictures so I'm definitely that person who will post about the pancakes I ate at 9 am. It can be triggering to have people unfollow you, but I've seen a shift in the past few years where people may be unfollowing because 1) they don't know you well or care to keep in touch and 2) they want to protect their mental health by filtering content on their feeds.
Genuine question, do you think people need to see your 9:00 pancakes though? I think that’s the point. We’re putting our lives out there in a way that isn’t healthy. You know who should see your 9:00 pancakes? You and whomever you’re with IRL.
Keeping up with friends was a major consideration for me, but every time I text my IG-dependent friends, they always text me back.
I agree! I think deleting social media does make your friendships stronger!! It's something that I've suspected recently, cause it makes us feel like we're all still in touch but in reality it's been 6 months since we've seen each other and we don't know anything that's really going on in each other's lives. I think it's definitely time to cut the cord...
Exactly. Social media is not being ‘in touch’. It’s a facade. So true!
This was such a wake up call. The fact alone that I completely agree with you and yet I am already trying to come up with excuses as to why I should keep my instagram only goes to show how much of a grip that app has on me. I use it so much that I am sure if I deleted it now, I wouldn't know what to do with myself. That's scary...
When Facebook started the "remember when" moments... and it said something like "here's a pic from 15 years ago!" I was like w. t. f. And immediately deleted my account. Other than living, and being with my husband, the only thing that I've been committed to for fifteen years was social media?! Gone.
I only have a ghost account on there now to run a business page. You can live without it. And life is a little more colorful on this side, like when Dorothy goes from black and white Kansas dreams to colorful Oz.
We got this, y'all.
Cheers!!!! I deactivated it 6 months ago. The clarity of mind I have on a daily basis. I actually do the things I want to do without the endless doom scrolling. While you’re at it, delete TikTok, Facebook, the next door app… and emails (I wish)
Nextdoor is the worst. Ugh.
Ok so totally not the 'correct' take away, but LOL mingers... don't see that word a lot in essays nowadays and it's a travesty, thank you for the gift!
I have deleted Twitter, Facebook and my next for the chop is Instagram. It has turned into a curated, rolling advertising board full of scam artists and snake oil salesmen. My actual friends (my real honest-to-goodness buddies) have my number and they - as you say - can just text me.
I just have to do it. But your piece is funny and is giving me the push to make the leap.
The ads I am being served up as a 40 year old woman are dystopian. They make the messaging on TV/ the media/ old school women’s mags seem subtle and classy. A short scroll through the gram: you’re old, you’re fat, fix your face/ chin/ wrinkles/ eyelashes/ teeth/ lips/ eyebrows/ hair/ clothes/ skincare routine/ diet. You’re probably barren, freeze your eggs.
This is an account I made after quitting for years. I never post to it and use it only to follow events and local businesses in my new city— none of the social networky humblebrag parasocial weirdness. Thought it would be safer and saner. It’s not!
A much younger ex-boyfriend said all of his ads were for guitars and mountain bikes.
Great article. I quit three months ago and am astounded at how much happier I am.
I’m curious about deleting instagram but as a graphic designer it’s hard to not worry about potential missed opportunities/connections. if I just used my account for personal stuff I’d delete it in a heartbeat 🧐🧐🧐
Ugh I have this problem too! I literally design social campaigns for 90% of my work so I need to keep up with what’s going on with social at least a bit…. But I want out 😂
Yeahhh it’s like an extension of our workplace almost
LinkedIn?
Respectfully, LinkedIn makes me want to drink vinegar 🥲🥴 and in some ways I think it’s more fake than instagram haha
Oh I get that!! It's a crap show these days... but, with aggressive posting re: your talents/skills/connections around such, I do think it can "help" with career stuff... but no, I rarely get on there too. Honestly social media all around feels like a lose-lose these days!
Definitely 🙂↕️…maybe I’ll try to posting more on there and just prentend I’m blind to the thousand tech bro posts
I deleted my IG four months ago and it was the best thing I did for my mental health too. My brain is also sharper and less foggy since I'm not seeing/watching 50 posts in two minutes.
Honestly, I never understood why people were so hell-bent on shaping their lives around what they’re going to post on social media. It just does not resonate with me and it never did.
I find I’m being forgotten more by friends because I dared to leave what’s pal groups although I’m seeing that as the sign that actually most of them weren’t really friends at all
I have found this too unfortunately 😔
Exactly.
Doesn’t make it less hurtful and lonely is the thing :(